A Practical Guide (Excerpt) by H.E. Rybol
A Matter Of Perception
Culture shock is often talked about in terms of symptoms or phases. It’s about a series of ups and downs. It’s important to acknowledge those feelings because they are a gateway to what lies beneath, but we shouldn’t forget to dig deeper. So to begin with, here are feelings travellers might experience when going through culture shock:
• Alienated
• Alienated from our own culture
• Angry
• Anxious
• At peace
• Confronted with our own limits
• Confronted with yourself
• Curious
• Disconnected
• Easily annoyed
• Excited
• Feel like your personal space is being intruded upon
• Feeling of familiarity
• Feeling out of place
• Free
• Full of anticipation
• Fully alive
• Guilty
• Happily overwhelmed
• Happy
• In touch with yourself
• Inexplicably connected
• Insecure
• Interested
• Irritated
• Isolated
• Judgmental
• Lonely
• Nervous
• Numb
• On edge
• Raw
• Sad
• Scared
• Shocked
• Stressed
• Tired
• Torn
• Uncomfortable
• Vulnerable.
A Moment Of Growth
As I see it, this is only the surface. What lies beneath this emotional roller coaster?
1. We need to process a lot of new information
2. We need to process our reaction to that information
Adaptation consists of digesting all of that. On the way, we are led to put our whole lives into perspective, question what we know and assume, and learn new ways of functioning to attempt to understand another culture and ourselves within it. Culture shock strips us from our comforts straight down to our core, puts us eye to eye with our basic needs, and propels us into a moment of accelerated growth. We slowly begin to make sense of all the new sights, sounds, smells, tastes and textures. We learn about this place we didn’t know before, about people’s lives and we attempt to understand our relation to both.
So, in its essence, the experience of culture shock is a profound shift in consciousness. How does that shift take place?
Often our ideas and the reality we find don’t match. There is a dissonance on multiple levels that can feel threatening because some of our basic assumptions and abilities might be challenged. What do I eat? Where do I sleep? Who do I connect with? Where do I belong? Will it be safe? We question our abilities to meet some of our basic needs.
Then of course we also wonder about our new surroundings: What is there to see? What are the stories behind it? How do they reflect local beliefs? What do people think? What do I think? The list is endless.
To get through culture shock, we need to reconcile the information we’re getting with our own reactions, thoughts (in the shape of ideas, preconceived notions, expectations, hopes, cultural background) and personal needs, and adapt our thoughts and reactions to that information as well. We need to let go of preconceived notions to make room for reality.
So essentially, by learning to live in another culture we...
• Confront our own boundaries (cultural, self- imposed or other)
• Question ourselves
• Confront our own notion of personal space
• Confront our own way of relating to other people
• Redefine our need for comfort
• Learn about our need for control
• Develop a stronger sense of self
• Confront our own prejudices and biases, and those of others
• See our own roots and culture with different eyes ...and so on.
It is a raw but exhilarating experience. One of the wonderful things about culture shock is that it brings us back to basics. It is a reminder of what’s essential.
Of course, the essential is sometimes clouded by our perception of everything surrounding it. So when it feels like we suddenly don’t control anything, everything around us simply happens and we’re not quite sure how to manage, it’s important to realise what we can control - our own behaviour and attitude. Through both we can learn to meet material and emotional needs at a time when meeting those needs is not a given and we don’t necessarily have many resources to do so.
In this sense, simple actions also have a deeper effect beyond the immediate relief they may bring. They help us tune into our core, handle change, connect across cultures and become aware of others and ourselves.
In the end, culture shock is about growth. It teaches us compassion, kindness and gratitude. So what matters is what we learn and how we act and change as a result of that experience. But we can only grow and learn if we take responsibility for our experiences, reactions, perceptions, behaviour, thinking, beliefs and interactions.
Experiencing culture shock then becomes a gift that helps us find our story within a world of stories and understand how all are connected.
This was an excerpt from Chapter 1 of Culture Shock: A Practical Guide. It is followed by six chapters full of tips:
1. How to deal with craving comfort
2. How to process new information
3. How to cope without autopilot
4. How to deal with difficult situations
5. How to deal with alienation
6. How to unite both worlds within yourself
In the meantime, here are five quick tips to get you started:
1. Consider The Benefits
The term ‘culture shock’ often evokes negative connotations. Using the excerpt above, ask yourself the following question: How have challenging cultural transitions positively impacted my life?
2. Use Food As An Icebreaker
Food can give you a tasty insight into another country’s culinary traditions. Food is also a source of comfort. It’s a great way to learn about a new country and connect with people over something that we share: the need for food. A great icebreaker for sure!
3. Communicate
Please, thank you and a smile go a long way. Learn some basic phrases to get you started. Bring a small phrase book, pocket dictionary or app, depending on where you go and what kind of trip it is. While this may not lead to an in depth conversation about political or social issues, it gives you a place to start. Communicate not only to express your needs but also to ask questions and learn something. Remember that most communication is non verbal, so don’t be afraid to use your hands and feet - that’s always fun no matter how clumsy it might feel! Don’t just stick to words. Find out about body language. What’s the polite way to hail a cab? Beckon someone to come over? Is it rude or polite to look someone directly in the eyes? Observe.
4. Slow Down
This is an opportunity to slow down and take it easy. Take your time to adapt. Let go of any preconceptions you might have. Leave stress and pressure behind. Don’t force yourself to visit as many sights as you can - even if you think you should. The point is to enjoy yourself, isn’t it? Make a choice and then relax. This is a great time to get to know yourself a little better by observing your reactions and understanding your needs in a challenging situation. Allow yourself time to fully experience this transition.
5. Practice Gratefulness
Seeing life from a different perspective is a wonderful way to learn to appreciate what we are given in life, both at home and on the road. Here are some of the things I’ve become grateful for while travelling:
• Hot water
• Clean water
• A bed
• Access to fresh food
• Restrooms!
Mostly, though, I’m grateful for the kindness of strangers, conversations I had with people I met along the way, friends I made, lessons I learned and the privilege of having had the opportunity to experience all this in the first place.
H.E. Rybol is an Adult Third Culture Kid, which means that her parents have two different nationalities (German/ French) and she grew up in a third country (Luxembourg). She has a BA in English (USA) and an MA in Interpreting, Translation and Diplomacy (England). She has spent her life living, working, studying and travelling around the world.